Loopy

Loopy

Creativity
Gone

Brain capacity
Reached

Headache
Set in

Anxiety
Full swing

Frustration with it all
Gripping

Ability to relax
Non-existent

Sleep
Inevitable

Depression
Overtaking me

Anger
Maddening

Sadness
Pulsating

Hope that it will end
Fading

Likelihood of getting back to normal soon
Unlikely

2 weeks, I had 2 weeks of almost clarity
then a relapse.

Why can’t I move on already
Get it out
Leave it all behind?

I wish I wasn’t so hard on myself,
But then again I always am.

I cant change the way my head is wired
Even as those wires lay tangled in a mangled mess

And it’s frustrating beyond belief
I can feel it ache in my joints
In my teeth
And in the constant neck ache that plagues my skull

And I wish I could write again
But then my thoughts go blank

I can’t ever get organized these days
I make lists
And the lists turn into a jumbled mess
That never gets completed
Or checked off in the correct order
And it hurts my brain

And as I do this
As I lay confused and broken
I can feel my brain turn to mush
And I just get
More Confused
More Frustrated
More Overwhelmed
Even more Mad
And just plain
Freaking Loopy.

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